The members of 3OH!3 are strange, posers, and hard to take seriously.

Fast food, as most everyone knows, is an industry in which unhealthy food which is nevertheless considered delicious by a shamefully large portion of the population.  3OH!3 is a fairly popular and relatively new electro-pop band, founded in 2004.  But the similarities go deeper than comparable fan bases.

For one thing, both the band and the industry have products created in machines.  Fast food restaurants, of course, receive their materials from food processing plants already made, needing only to be fried before it’s ready for consumption.  3OH!3 consists of Sean Foreman and Nathaniel Motte, both of whom perform vocals.  The actual “music” is created on a computer.  Because they are made with machines, neither requires a large number of people to put it together.

Another similarity between 3OH!3 and McDonald’s is they make you feel good but are ultimately bad for you.  McDonald’s, of course, sells food that everyone knows is bad for them but eats anyway because it’s convenient.  3OH!3 has some funky beatz that some consider to be fun to dance to, but also promotes mysogyny, rape and substance abuse.

Lastly, both fast food and 3OH!3 have origins in America, the former in California and the latter in Colorado… unfortunately.

The reason that I am addressing this is because I am a student who has not gone to RVHS for his whole career as a high-schooler.  I went to school in Ohio for my Freshman through Junior years.  The school I went to did not have off blocks, we went from 7:20 in the morning to 2:30 every day, and life was good.  Upon arriving and learning that I had to complete an online course, I was a little upset.

Not only did I go to a school where I was receiving all of my credit hours, this year, I believe that I am enrolled in a very rigorous schedule including only one off block.  I think that the school administration should make an exception to students like me and students who have had only one off block their whole time in high school.

Knowing that this is not going to happen, however, I do want to add that this course is a good way for students to get the feel of an online program and see what it will be like in a college class conducted online.

Sunday Oct 25, 2009 at 1:05 pm JaMarcus and his all star crew suit up to battle the NewYork Jets. Last week aginst Philadelphia JaMarcus had a season high 17 completions, it is this fact that locks him into the spot of greatest quarterback of all time ever in the entire universe. Also with the most talented defence in the league the raiders are a shoe in for super bowl champions if we can keep it to a minimum of 5 felony charges during the regular season. The coaching staff is also flowing better now that all know why Tom Cable is “The Boss”.

Most of the smokers at Ralston Valley probably took up the habit a year or more ago, when it was legal to possess and smoke cigarettes.  That’s right; it was those people allowing the students to have tobacco who were breaking the law.  Some kind of dream come true, right?  I mean the concept of someone else getting pegged for your deviance from the law; to be able to pursue your illegal hobbies while someone else is punished for it.  However, that’s not true anymore—I’ll get to that part in a minute.  Anyway, these kids probably started smoking before it was illegal for them to do so.  Tobacco is an addictive substance, as pretty much anyone who’s ever even glanced in the general direction of a rudimentary medical center is sure to know.  So obviously, when the law changed this didn’t mean that students would automatically stop smoking.  Not only does it take hard work to quit, but we’re talking about teenagers.  I can say with only two exceptions that I have never met a fellow teen who won’t openly defy something he or she thinks is unfair.  So when smoking itself became illegal, smokers naturally decided they would just have to stop doing it in plain sight of law enforcement—in other words, across the street.

As far as I can tell, this means students have to go farther off-campus to smoke.  They could just not-smoke if they weren’t used to being able to during the school day and, as I’ve mentioned before, probably addicted.  Describing what it’s like to abruptly stem one’s nicotine intake, one student said, “[School is] harder, it’s not as focused.”  Seanpaul Batchelder, an out-and-proud smoker, described the difference of school without a smoking pit.  “I just had to drive off-campus to smoke a cigarette,” Batchelder told me at 2:20 one blue day, having just arrived back from the trip.  Uh, class starts at 1:15, Sean.

While it probably doesn’t make all students a whole hour late, this tardiness is hardly a one-time occurrence.  Mrs. Spirk (Biology) mentioned to me that other teachers had had students arriving late to their classes; one student she claimed had spent fifteen minutes driving around the school so as to smoke without being on-campus.  Sure, the students could just not smoke, but as Batchelder mentioned, it’s hard to focus on one’s class when they’re low on chemical additives that their bodies are now accustomed to having.

An alternative solution might be to, uh, open the pit back up—yeah, you didn’t see that coming.  Obviously, the new law will assist those who haven’t taken up smoking at this point; their chances of taking up smoking in the state of Colorado have decreased drastically.  However, those who already smoke are just getting hurt academically either by being unable to focus or by missing class.  It’s not like the new law was a high priority—it was first passed in October of 2008, but not implemented until August of 2009.  Why?  To save money on printing new Student Conduct Codes.  I know the smoking pit’s “closing” is actually the lack of students idiotic enough to smoke where a police officer might spot him or her rather than the school’s measures to halt smoking by minors; therefore, I guess I’m addressing the state legislature when I say this is the opposite of helpful.

Some people may feel that if the closing of the pit causes at least one student to quit smoking, that’s enough.  Well that’s fantastic, good for you.  Seriously, I’m happy for you.  However, in 2005 it was recorded that 23% of high school students admitted to smoking a cigarette within the last month.  At RV, that leaves approximately 68.7 student smokers to struggle with a dependency, not to mention they are more likely than not to be late or unfocused, deteriorating their academic ability and lessening their chances at a decent career.  That’s almost 70 kids living out of their parents’ basement, working the graveyard shift at the convenience store-slash-gas station on the corner.

Anyway, congratulations to that metaphorical solitary student.

To the referees of the October 7 football game and select RV and Monarch football players:

RE: Your inexcusable actions towards the Ralston Valley Marching Band

The marching band works extremely hard every year. They’re out practicing longer than the football team and they are so dedicated that they allow band to completely take over their lives for almost half of the year.

So, when they go out on the field to do their best routine in at least four years, they deserve a great deal of respect. And that means that they ought to be able to perform their full show.

That’s why it was extremely disrespectful, rude and downright disgraceful for the refs to run out on the field, blowing their whistles and signaling to Ralston Valley Drum Major Erica Kellenberger to stop her show short. How would you like it if during a game you were reffing, the band ran out and said, “Hey, you told us halftime would be one and a half minutes ago. Off the field!” during a football game? You’d probably be very unhappy. Yet, somehow, this was okay? Not cool!

But Kellenberger stood her ground. The student section began to cheer for her and the band and she directed her musicians through the entire show, which was phenomenal (and I’m told we didn’t see the full effect with props and everything).

Because of the band’s performance, the refs thought it fitting to flag Ralston Valley and penalize the football team 15 yards. So, some football players greeted the band members, who were quickly taking down their equipment and leaving the field, with a thorough cursing-out.

As representatives of Ralston Valley, that is not acceptable. Kellenberger doesn’t come down to the sidelines and call you dirty names, does she? No, instead she sticks to her job.

On the whole, the best part of the night was the band’s halftime show. Not only was it a well-composed, well-performed piece of artwork, but it showed that the student body of Ralston Valley doesn’t just care about football. We stand behind our performers and give them the support they deserve.

To the refs and those of you football players who don’t deserve to wear the RV jersey: for shame. Next time, try supporting your fellow students. And to those football players who didn’t join in the jeering: you get many thumbs up for allowing your classmates to show off their hard work. They have earned your respect, so make sure they get it.

Way to go marching band and serious points for Erica Kellenberger, who wasn’t intimidated.

And it’s about time.

First, to make one quick clarification: the pit was closed down due to a new state law and a subsequently adopted district policy. The Ralston Valley administration closed down the pit because they had to. Although, in all sense, the pit shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

Just stop for a moment and think about it:

The pit, which was supported by the school, encouraged students to smoke. Basically, from the first day of freshmen year the school presented students with a very nonchalant attitude towards smoking. On day one, freshmen used to be told that smoking is harmful, but if you feel like doing it, you can if you head across the dangerous intersection. According to biology teacher Amy Spirk, “smoking is the leading cause of [lung] cancer”. So why did the school ever support a pit in the first place? It just doesn’t seem right for a government-funded educational institution to provide a cancer-promoting area for its students.

Not only that but the loopholes that made the pit technically legal never really made sense anyway. Before the recent law change, those under age 18 were allowed to possess and use tobacco products, but not purchase them. How exactly does this make any sense? All it does is set a double standard. It tells underage citizens that smoking is sometimes good and sometimes bad.

Finally, think about how dangerous the pit was for both those using it and the school itself. Completely ignoring the lung cancer variable, students had to run across an unregulated intersection (which the roundabout only slightly improved). It’s kind of shocking that no one ever got seriously injured crossing 80th to get to the pit all these years. Plus, had someone gotten injured, the school would likely have found itself in seriously hot water. Because it always endorsed the pit, the parents of the hypothetical injured student would likely have sued the school. Even if the school won the case, they would have had to pay thousands, if not millions, of taxpayer dollars for the arguing of the case itself.

At this point, I hope it is painfully clear that, by banning underage smoking, thereby necessitating an end to the era of the smoking pit, the state made a very good move.

People argue that, because of the risks associated with smoking in the former pit area, they must smoke off campus and are, therefore, late for class. They say that, because they are distracted and need their tobacco fix they are struggling in school. And yet, these opponents of the change are doing nothing to solve the problem.

Yes, the pit is closed, but moaning about that isn’t going to fix anything. Instead, why not try quitting. I understand that it is extremely difficult to quit smoking. In fact, I have a great deal of respect for those who successfully kick the habit. But if you are really that worried about your academic success now that smoking at the pit is not possible, you need to take action. By quitting smoking, a person could eliminate both the distraction of needing a cigarrette during class and the tardiness that results from driving far off campus to smoke.

Plus, you could save your life.

I commend the Colorado state legislature and the administration of Ralston Valley. You have done this school, and this community, a great service by closing the smoking pit. For one thing, the law now actually makes sense. You are standing up against a dangerous habit. You have ended the double standard of cigarrette use in schools. And, most important of all, you have saved children’s lungs from the deterioration of years of cigarrette smoking. It only makes sense that, starting with this year’s freshmen, fewer students will take up smoking. After all, it’s not as convenient as it once was. And maybe this change in law will convince a few older students who have been smoking for a long time to quit.

So thank you for your commitment to students’ health and safety. Closing the pit was truly the right thing to do. After all, school is about helping children, not Marlboro.

The Xpress staff weighs in on the changes brought about by the 2009-2010 school year, including the new online class, closing the pit and silver days.

Seniors’ Online Class

D+

Although we understand the need to make this class available (some students do not have enough teacher-student contact hours to graduate according to state law), it is not necessary to force every senior to take it. However, even those seniors who will graduate with more credit hours than are required and will have more than enough class time to earn a diploma are required to take the course. Our recommendation: don’t force those who have the class time required to earn a diploma to take the class. It’s just not fair.

Closing the Pit

A

This was not a school decision, but rather an alteration in state law. Whether you agree or disagree with the new laws that state no minor can possess tobacco products, the school acted wisely by shutting down the pit. If the RVHS administration had allowed it to remain accessible to students, it would, in effect, be encouraging the breaking of the new laws. At least now those who choose to smoke off school grounds are doing so without the endorsement of Ralston Valley High School.

New Start Time

C+

The new start time probably bothers upperclassmen more than anyone else. Though the school day only starts 25 minutes earlier, many students are finding the change difficult to deal with. We understand that it is a moot point. School start and end times are determined by the district and based mostly on bussing schedules, but the change has made it much more difficult for students to find the motivation to wake up, causing increased traffic that hampers our ability to make it to class on time, hence the 20 tardies listed above—one for each silver or blue day at this point in the semester. For more on this, see “From the Desk of the Editors,” page 2.

Silver Days

F

We knew going into this one that the addition of weekly silver days would be a tough transition, but that doesn’t make them any less painful. Again, this was one of those situations where the administration was in a tight spot. We commend them for solving the problem at hand (ensuring that all students had enough classroom time to graduate) but we wish silver days weren’t so long. By the time seventh block has ended, it feels like it should be the end of the day, but there are still three more classes. Not only that but on Thursdays and Fridays teachers assign full homework loads, as though we will next have their class on a block schedule day. These two problems, coupled together, make for a very tiring Monday. As a result, students are worn out the entire rest of the week.

Pop Machines

C

The school’s soda machines have been done away with in accordance to yet another state law. Obviously, Ralston Valley had no say in this, but it wasn’t really the best decision on the part of the state legislature in the first place. True, sodas are detrimental to people’s health and we can understand banning them from elementary schools, but not having access to sodas in a high school is not going to make a difference. By freshman year, we have already developed habits and not having a vending machine to sell us Pepsi won’t change them. Also, many high schoolers can drive and virtually all high schoolers know someone who can drive. All this ban will do is force students to go off campus to find soda and that will do nothing but take away very valuable vending machine-generated revenue that school districts used to depend on.

Overall

C-

Although we give these changes a C-, it is important to note that Ralston Valley on the whole ranks considerably higher. In fact, at the end of last school year, the Xpress gave RVHS a B- when comparing almost a dozen different categories and we honestly believe that most other schools would score considerably lower than that.

Facebook is scary

Social Networking sites make it that much easier for cybercriminals to mess with you, apparently.

Facebook can let your friends know what you’re up to, how you feel and .  It can also let people know whether or not you’re in your house and gives out information many people use as passwords or security questions, such as your mother’s maiden name, your pets’ names and your friends’ names.

This gives both identity thieves and regular ol’ robbers access to a plethora of useful information; “Joe Smith is excited to go to Mexico!” can easily be turned into “Joe Smith was really bummed to get back from Mexico to find he no longer owned any turtlenecks or silver candlesticks.”  Identity theft is also an issue; with a large supply of possible passwords at their disposal, cyberthieves can hack into accounts on other sites and change your passwords.

Facebook quizzes sometimes ask for information that at the time seems like the only way to find out “if u have swine flue.”  However, as it turns out, sometimes you can’t “find out when Kanye West will interrupt you” by giving someone your Zodiac sign, gender and social security number.  Sometimes, that information goes to someone who knows how to use it.

The solution?  Probably adjust your security settings, don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know, and skip the quizzes that ask for access to your bank account; you know you don’t actually care which The Beatles song describes your life.

The school year is finally coming to a close, the seniors are completely infected with Senioritis, the juniors are taking way to many tests and doing more projects than should be humanly possible, the sophomores are itching to become upperclassmen and the freshmen, well…they don’t quite matter yet.

Overall, however, every student is feeling a whole lot of one thing: stress. I hear it every single day.

“Man, I am so stressed about that physics test! Dude I am so stressed out right now! I am getting a migrane from all this stress.” And the not exactly the same but still related, “I’m not even a senior and I have Senioritis.”

While everyone is worried about the swine flu epidemic, it seems our high school has its own very different kind of epidemic to worry about: Stress Trauma. It spreads like wildfire, passed in seconds from classroom to classroom, teacher to student, student to student, all it takes is the words, “I’m assigning you a project,” or “Quiz! Test! Exam!” especially putting the word “new” in front of any of those. The schoolwork for the year is now adding up, projects’ due dates assigned at the beginning of the semester are arriving, finals are rapidly approaching and last chance to turn in those missing assignments is here. While I’m sure all you other grades are getting hit hard, the junior class seems to be bombarded with work.

Junior year is said to be the hardest year of high school and so far, I completely agree. Not only do we juniors have our core classes, for many, Advanced Placement, but we have the ACT, for some the SAT and SAT subject tests. Not to mention such clubs as National Honor Society, which require mandatory service hours that must be fitted into schedules which already consist of sports practices, study and homework time. There seems almost no time to relax de-stress, or even sleep for that matter. In many classes I see heads propped up on water bottles with droopy eyes or plain sleeping right on the desks themselves. Sometimes if I’m lucky, I can catch the talented few who can sit upright and sleep, but it’s a rare occasion.

This illness could easily be reined in, and I am sure that most of those affected will have recoveries, hopefully full ones, but we all know the best way to stamp out this modern plague: no more homework! Or tests, or quizzes, and those makeup assignments? Well of course I already know all the information because you are such good teachers; those points can just be added in full credit, please. And if you’re thinking to yourself, “this girl is crazy! I love assigning things left and right,” I’m not crazy, I’ve just been deeply infected; they say I won’t ever recover. Ever. That’s on your conscious, and it’s not like I’m saying no tests for just my benefit either, no tests for me means no grading for you! Win-win situation! And what a perfect way to kick off summer, which I know you are all dying ot enjoy as much as I am; by having nothing to grade or students whining to you about points or grades or anything. Instead, if you go through with the whole no quizzes, tests and makeup assignments agenda, we will be delightful students, who stay awake in class instead of sleeping on water bottles and you won’t even catch us texting anymore! We’ll be sure to hide it better so you won’t get stressed about punishing us and get infected with Stress Trauma.

So hang in there, Mustangs. We’re on the home stretch and summer will be ehre before you know it. Cliched as it sounds, it’s the truth. So stay on those antibiotics, get some sleep and get ready for one last week of this school year.

Sincerely,

Ashley Pajor
Photographer